My Stutter Story
I started stuttering when…
…I was in 2nd grade. I don’t remember being vividly aware of stuttering or even being embarrassed of how I talked, which is a state I often wish I could revisit. Being young and naive allowed me to be more carefree and speak my mind when I wanted. I guess its true that ignorance is bliss!
My parents had me evaluated in 2nd grade, and I ended up being diagnosed with a stutter. Ever since then, I’ve been in and out of speech therapy trying different techniques (one therapist massaged my throat to get me to relax while talking..now that I think back, it was pretty weird). Fast forward to right now, where I’m currently in speech therapy at the University of Maryland Hearing and Speech Clinic, participating in a program called Avoidance Reduction Therapy (will go into more detail later on my current therapy!). This program makes me analyze and evaluate my relationship with stuttering, reflecting on what I love and hate about it.
I hate stuttering because of the anxiety, fear, shame, and embarrassment it brings me on a daily basis. There’s more to stuttering than just jumbling up your words; the mental aspect plays a huge role too. When people make comments on my speech, it hurts a lot more than they realize. It invites unwelcome feelings of shame and frustration, and it makes me feel like I have to constantly prove myself to others. That being said, I’m not writing this for pity but to help people understand what it’s like being a person who stutters.
Despite how much stuttering frustrates me, I also love it because of the community of people I’ve met, the friends I’ve made, and the life experiences I’ve had. I’ve learned so much about myself, patience, discipline, hard work, and the importance of sticking to your goal no matter how unattainable it may seem.
Stuttering has so many life lessons that come with it, and I’m excited to discover those as I continue blogging.
