The 2021 National Stuttering Association Conference
This year’s National Stuttering Association Conference was eye-opening, inspiring, and the punch of motivation that I needed. I went out of my comfort zone and mingled with lots of new people, and it was so rewarding!
Before the conference actually began, during the Uber ride to the airport, I was talking to our driver about my purpose for traveling. I told her about the National Stuttering Association, their annual conferences, and that I’m a person who stutters. (Side note, mentioning the conference as part of your summer plans is a great way to ease into advertising. I said something like “I’m traveling to an annual conference for people who stutter. I stutter myself and love meeting other people in the community). She seemed to admire what I said, but then responded with “I would’ve never known you stutter, you seem to manage it so well!” Responses like this always leave me with mixed emotions. I know people are genuinely trying to be nice, but at the same time, hiding disfluencies or “managing them well” shouldn’t be, in my opinion, the defining factor of how well you communicate. And it’s a shame that some people unknowingly make that assumption.
I posted a question about this topic on the NSA’s Young Adult Facebook Page about this and got some great feedback. You should read the thread if you can, you just have to scroll down a little far!
By this point I was just really excited to be surrounded with other people who stutter, lol. We sat with some friends on the flight over and as soon as I walked into the hotel lobby, the giddiness set in. On the first night we went to dinner, explored our hotel (which was sooooooo nice) and caught up with friends we hadn’t seen in years. I spent the rest of the trip at the conference during the day, eating delicious foods from Veracruz Tacos, Moonshine Bar and Grill, Iron Works BBQ, Le Café Crepe, and Coopers BBQ, and exploring the city and local shops. On Friday we went to a dueling piano bar on dirty sixth which was so entertaining (I love piano bars so much)!
Since we got there a little too late to catch the opening ceremony, my first “taste” of the conference was the keynote on Thursday and it was AWESOME. I wrote some lengthy recaps of the keynotes because they were filled with so much great content that I believe everyone needs to hear.
Keynote 1: Dr. Courtney Byrd, Dream. Speak. Live: How to Navigate Fluency Conformity and Reduce Stuttering Stigma
The first keynote speaker was Dr. Courtney Byrd, PHD, CCC-SLP professor at UT Austin and founder and of the Arthur M. Blank Center for Stuttering Education and Research. She conducts stuttering research that’s been published in some of the top journals of speech language pathology and her innovative clinical work has shaped thousands of kids and adults who stutter. So basically, she’s a saint.
Her keynote touched on so many things, including the importance of teaching stuttering in school, the difference between struggling with stuttering and struggling with the stigma of stuttering, how parents reactions to their child stuttering can either help or hurt their relationship with stuttering, and more.
Dr. Byrd started off her keynote with a very honest statement about how she got into this type of work, which was actually through teaching fluency-shaping therapy in Louisiana and having to tell a young man that he was being discharged from therapy because he wasn’t “making enough progress” – in other words, wasn’t fluent enough. Fast forward to now, where she’s been able to make up for that damage by becoming a huge advocate for correcting misperceptions about stuttering and fighting to change the types of fluency-shaping therapy that has been so traditionally taught in schools.
She shared that it’s a struggle to get some of her research published or even paid attention to because people still defer to measuring fluency frequency and severity as the metric of change. If a child going through speech therapy doesn’t show a difference in either of those metrics, the work isn’t considered impactful or successful, and her publication won’t be accepted. Her argument is that we shouldn’t be measuring those things in the first place because they can have a detrimental, life-long impact on people who stutter.
Dr. Byrd is shouldering the advocacy work with the next generation of SLPs by offering student training in the foundation for treating stuttering adequately, where fluency is not used as a measure of success. Because there’s so few SLPs out there who can adequately treat people who stutter (less than 1% according to one of her publications), it’s critical to strengthen the education and training for stuttering in schools.
In a lot of undergraduate curriculums, stuttering is thrown in with the voice unit and glazed over or treated as a box to be checked off. Students can become SLPs with very little knowledge and experience with stuttering, which is just absurd! In order to provide effective (not from a fluency perspective) and helpful speech therapy, SLPs need to better understand stuttering and how it effects each individual.
Dr. Byrd wants people to understand that some people struggle with stuttering, and some people (like that young man she discharged from therapy years earlier), struggle with the stigma of stuttering, which is where an individual can feel inferior and incapable. The number one cause of this is feeling pressure to conform to what society wants you to be as a person who stutters; someone who stutters less and is more fluent. And you know what that sounds like? Fluency shaping therapy. It’s essentially pushing conformity on individuals, which is extremely damaging. According to Dr. Byrd, conformity can hinder personal progress, increase the chance of depression, cause a loss of identity, mitigate self-compassion, inhibit self-acceptance, and yield inferiority.
The next part of her presentation discussed some parenting techniques that, in a paradoxical attempt to help their child with stuttering, actually ended up hurting them. She shared stories about parents who were tiptoeing around their child’s stutter and avoiding using the word stutter, talking about it in hushed tones in front of other people, and pretending it didn’t exist and wasn’t a problem. She also shared a few stories of parents that didn’t want their kids to feel burdened by their stuttering experiences, so rather than trying to relate to their child and help them feel less alone, they didn’t say anything about it or even tell their child that they also stuttered. I don’t think there’s a kid, teen, or adult who can say they wish their parent ignored their stuttering, or that they wish they didn’t share their own stuttering experiences with them. People want to know that they aren’t alone. We watched several video testimonials of clients saying how they wish their parents had been more open-minded, or that they wish they had found a community of other people who stutter much sooner.
She wrapped up with lots of videos of young kids who talked about how proud they are of their stutter and how they like to self-disclose. Some of these kids looked as young as five years old! If all of the kids who stutter are exposed to stuttering acceptance and positivity, we could forever change the stigma of stuttering for future generations.
I’ll end this summary with some awesome quotes and ideas that I jotted down from her presentation:
- “Communication is not defined by fluency and never has been.”
- “Fluency should not be used as a measure of positive change.”
- “It’s important for people who stutter to find their own way of advertising their stutter. It’s empowering and it sets the tone for the listener of how they want to be treated.”
You can listen to her whole keynote on the NSA’s YouTube channel (though I did pull out a lot of the info, there’s some good stuff I didn’t get to!)
Intersectionality: Multiply Marginalized PWS
Session description: Intersectionality is a concept used to discuss the impact that multiple marginalized identities have on an individual. PWS who are multiply marginalized have unique experiences, challenges, and insights that offer important complexity to the diverse experience of stuttering. This marginalization may be related to race, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, ability, neurodiversity, and more. This workshop will include a panel discussion from a diverse group of PWS who are multiply marginalized and a chance for participants to engage and discuss the topics addressed.
This was a really thought-provoking session. My multiple marginalized identify is being a woman and a person who stutters. I knew that it was less common to see a female who stutters than a male who stutters, but I didn’t really give it that much thought prior to this session. The panel made me realize that that identity is actually pretty hard to have, and is responsible for a lot of my struggles. I struggle with feeling insecure and incompetent at work because I’m a young female who stutters in an industry that’s predominately older males. I also struggle with how my speech comes across in social situations; I feel like I have to come across as put together, girly, and outgoing because I’m a 26 year old woman. While these struggles are not nearly as tough as some of the struggles the panelist’s shared, (stuttering mixed with other biases like race, sexual orientation, mental disabilities), it was still a big relief to finally understand the source of that anxiety.
I walked away from this session thinking, if these individuals are able to share their stories in front of a big audience and deal with the stigma and cultural opposition to being themselves, then I should be able to be my full self.
If you are a multiply marginalized PWS in the LGBTQ+, consider attending an NSA Connects session, Passing Twice. This virtual event is in November and will have a discussion focused on the experiences of “coming out” and “passing” encountered by members of both the LGBTQ+ and stuttering communities. Check out the info here.
Self-Advocacy At Work: Challenging Negative Stereotypes In The Workplace
Session description: Many false assumptions and negative stereotypes about stuttering persist in the workplace. Employers may equate stuttering with anxiety or reticence and poor interpersonal skills. Left unchecked, such biases can hinder meaningful employment and career advancement. This workshop offers strategies for the person who stutters to feel empowered to challenge and correct harmful workplace assumptions.
My fellow committee members Carl Coffey and Derek Mitchell co-hosted this panel and they did a fabulous job! I always love hearing them share their experiences. Derek told an amazing story about how he applied for this job and the recruiter called him just to tell him how unqualified he was, only to later be offered the job. HA! He said he decided to add his volunteer experience with the NSA on his resume for this particular job application. It sure paid off!
The other panelists in this session came from very diverse career backgrounds. During the Q&A they shared advice about advertising stuttering on your resume, during interviews, and dealing with workplace stigma after you’ve got the job. The employment-themed panels are always pretty crowded and people love the Q&A. If you’re looking for more career advice or mock interview practice, the Employment Advocacy Committee that I’m on can help! Check out their website for more details. We have our first webinar of the fall season coming up – Stuttering and Academia.
I’ll wrap up this session summary with one final (rather blunt, but true) takeaway: no one cares if you stutter. Employers only care if you can do the job that they hired you to do!
Keynote 2: Bill Wade, The Path to Full Potential
Keynote description: We are only as strong as the truths living within us. After years of struggling with his speech, Bill discovered several lessons that changed his life. He will share stories and insights about this transformational change…and renew our appreciation for the truth that stuttering should not hold us back from reaching our full potential. Bill Wade, Senior Partner at Bain & Company, is a person who stutters with tremendous business experience. For over 20 years, Bill has advised world-class corporations and private equity firms on matters of strategy, organization and performance improvement.
Bill’s objective was simple; to help deepen our understanding that stuttering should not hold us back from pursuing our full potential. He showed a graph (in typical business fashion) of his struggle with stuttering over time and configured his presentation so it told the story of the curve. It was very well-put together!
Throughout childhood and grade school, he experienced fluctuations of severe struggling followed by bursts of confidence. Once he got through college, he was faced with the decision of pursuing a career that was easier for a person who stutters, or one that followed his passion. Myself, and probably many others, have also experienced that tough decision. He said he held back his contributions a lot at work and described the struggle of being stuck in a cubicle where people can hear you every time you speak. AHHHH I can only imagine!!
During his second year of business school, he said that he felt his expectations were outstripping his capabilities. (It’s this part of his journey where the struggle slope got really steep). Once he got out of business school and entered the workforce, his struggle reached its peak. This made him want to quit his job, and so he did. Fed up with the constant struggle and pushback he felt from his stutter, he did some intense inner reflection and was able to transform his struggle into something manageable. After lots of reflection, he was able to credit his transformation to these seven lessons:
- View stuttering objectively; mountains vs molehills. When not viewed objectively, stuttering can be viewed as a mountain of a problem, making perception turn into reality. Stuttering becomes a big deal only because you believe it is.
- Fear avoidance more than failure. We avoid things that aren’t comfortable because we fear the uncomfortable; but these fear-based decisions are the ones that we regret later. Winning or losing is far superior to not trying.
- Change the scoreboard. Our focus should be on effective communication, not fluency. If fluency is our goal, we will always set ourselves up for failure. If fluency is not the measure of success, then we as PWS can be just as or more successful than others. You can be very disfluent but still an effective communicator; effective communication should be the measure of success, defined by how well you understand others and how well they understand you.
- Communicate on your terms. It’s easy to conform to someone else’s style of speaking when in group conversations – talking faster, using the same mannerisms, etc. When you’re speaking, it’s about you and not them.
- Disclose with confidence. Until you recognize and embrace the “elephant in the room”, it will always be an emotional threat. When you disclose, don’t apologize for it. Find a time that makes you feel the most confident when disclosing.
- Maintain eye contact. It’s more than a physical act; it’s the feeling that comes with it. It can become an outward reflection of your inner confidence towards speaking. Overtime, maintaining eye contact will reduce fear.
- Reflect your true self; when you’re misaligned, there’s very little overlap between who you are on the inside and your public self that you show others. Trying to maintain a public persona, which can include trying to be seen as fluent, smooth talking, exuding false confidence, or communicating in a style that’s not yours, is extremely taxing. It creates unnecessary struggle and anxiety. But when your inner self and public self are one and the same, you feel less stress, happier, and confident in what you’re pursuing, within and outside of stuttering.
Wrapping Up
If you’re wondering if I went back and re-watched both keynotes so I could summarize them, I sure did! Even though the videos were long, I loved reliving the experience of listening to them for the first time (I also had a lot of time to kill on a five hour flight to Vegas a few weeks ago).
On top of the amazing sessions and keynotes, I mingled with new people and introduced myself to more people than I ever have. It was such a great feeling! It was the most freeing experience I’ve had being in a social situation. No judgment, no fear, just being yourself and a spontaneous communicator. As I’m typing this I’m already feeling anxiously giddy and eager for the next conference in Newport Beach, CA! I better start saving my pennies… 😉
If you made it to the end, thank you so much for reading. I love blogging for people who find my words entertaining and helpful, but I also just love blogging for myself. It’s fun to read back on my old blog posts and conference recaps and feel proud of how much hard work I put into them.
Until next time!
-A
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